yo

a complete random nonsense post. 

hey yo, this blogggg is so collecting spider webs xD So I did sayy it’s not normal for me not to blog, but I didn’t say it’s not normal for me to blog for others to read, guess this personality has been too embedded in me since young since I was trained to be alone, so much so that I started being so comfortable and use to it , so much so that sometimes being with people feels like a crime! (well, imagine being scolded just if you crave your parent’s attention as a kid -_-, it’d make you grow up hating attention and makes you think that it’s something wrong too!) (seriously wondering now how I’m able to communicate with people *wondering in progress*) 

Welll, basically I’ve decided to blog nonsense >> I did warn you at the top, hence obviously I don’t want to waste your time so unless you’re seriously bored, then maybe you can read, LMAO. (because I really do enjoy talking to myself ! ) 

ANYWAYYYYYS….. this holiday has been pretty ..urh.. weird, my body’s clock more screwed up than ever, but that’s sounds kinda wrong too, since I do sleep at night at time and wake up really early..

and then there’d be days I skip sleep for a dayy and another where I’d sleep really early, like at 8 – 9 am and another few days where I’d sleep at 4 am or 5 am …. so obviously it is also hard to interact with anyone (with such a random body clock, don’t ask me how but it copes well) 

And MSN still obviously hates me, for those who really know me, technology HATES ME a lot ! LOLS. well, after all, one of the fact that prove it is that every phone & digital camera I had spoilt in less than 2 years, no matter how good I treat them ! but no, I’m not IT illiterate like what some have thought, ROFL (& as usual, I’m still addicted to saying words like ‘ROFL’, ‘LOLS’ & ‘LMAO’ as you can see  xDD) 

mwahahahs, the puppy’s so cute! it’s playing with clothe again >>> seems really like a cleaner dog man, it loves sleeping outside the toilet and in the toilet and playing with those clothe that my mum use to wipe the floor, ROFL!

Another update would be how blur I still am, just the other day I almost exited a restaurant with their glass cup still in my hand because I was so use to carrying my cups off with me from the school canteen! – I ended up doubling up in laughter after that, LMAO. 

& also I was on RC and went to feed my workers and after that when I return, I realized sth, I only fed 3 workers cause I forgot I had an increase in amount of workers ever since I started playing – 7 workers now so my restaurant ended up being half-dysfunctional! (& that was so long ago since I last had 3 workers!!) (I suddenly feel like my brain is still living in the past can! >> gosh I sound so Singaporean… >.<) 

And oh my, oh my, I discovered there was finally ONE THING I could do and complete with my full attention on it! (albeit a lot of discussions – about it!) Maybe it is my real job calling! ROFL! Because I have NOT been able to work without doing two things at one time (cause if I do one thing, I will be distracted by a million other thing, if I do two, I’m just distracted by another xD) ! And that thing is categorizing humans!! I had so much fun!! I guess it also has to do with my own personality of liking to give people nicknames according to their character (cause I can’t remember real names well, I remember their characters better xDD) ! And thus I set out on the quest to seek the perfect picture for everyone, seems quite impossible … and now I feel like drawing them out, ROFL. Too bad my scanner is spoilt >.< 

bye, gotta go!! O.O 7:07 O.O

Add comment June 16, 2009

What’s normal, what’s not, who knows?

Ah, another blog post after a .. long time, I guess? Am gonna rant stupid rantings xDD (because I am lazy to update with everything that’s going on in my life ~ ) 

It ain’t normal for me not to blog.. but well, things haven’t been my norms nowadays..

For one, I’m sleeping/stoning my days away and living through the night – I may be a night owl, but I am a morning person too, well – just not an afternoon/evening one. 

I guess it’s either those darn medicines or exhaustion that got to me after those many days of few hours sleep, I need at least 9 hours of sleep each day otherwise I need a 16 hrs sleep a day per week, or I can’t function. Even with lots and lots of sweets, yes — sweets have become my regular meals yet again – along with potato chips,they’re my “proper” meal, hehes (i don’t really mean to “abuse” my body but well.. I am not one to spend much on myself..yes, that includes meals).well — it’s no wonder I’m sick. Though it’s not the snacky meals that did it but the lack of sleep that made me sick (because my body’s use to having potato chips as meals ^^) ….But I’ve been sick my whole life, it’s becoming such a norm to me, it’s like how others find being sick not normal, if you get what I mean. Plus, I do see no purpose in becoming better anyway. Well, for others, they’ve to get better because it make a difference in their lives but for me .. no difference. (except wasting money and medicine and time) 

Anyways, guess I am going to make this blog go on hiatus..

Just feel like it.. 

Seriously doesn’t understand the thoughts of some people, because my own train of thoughts are somewhere else and it can’t comprehend… It’s hard to bring yourself  across to someone else when you don’t speak the “same language”.. 

I promised to do a quiz last holiday but apparently I forgot to post it up, but oh well, what’s history is history. I shall keep it as draft then. 

I bet there was a million other things I promised but it slipped my mind too, now the thing I have to remember is to never ever make a promise again. Even if I was 100% sure, because I know I’d probably end up making empty promises again and I hate making empty promises, though if you made empty promises to me, I won’t mind cause I’ll forget them anyways. 

I hate my memory.. for being so highly selective.. or maybe forgetting has been something I trained myself to do, since remembering always felt more upsetting.. Or maybe the memories meant so much, it has been buried so deeply in because I fear losing them.. so much so to the extend that I’m holding on so tightly to the rubber band of memories that it snapped… 

It’s like somehow I know things, but my mind decides to delude myself that I do not know. But it’s hard deluding yourself, much much harder than deluding others. 

SO it’s bye blog for now. Me and my stupid last rant at the moment.

Add comment May 17, 2009

First day back at school!

A quick upload before heading off to school ~~ BECAUSE! it’s probably the last time I can post at this time this month! LOLS – I’m sentimental ok~~

School’s off to a new start again! Looks like it’ll be fun still but I have yet to adapt to the new timing, and ended up too tired on the first day ):

First day of school was..
Mad peoples cheering madly and asking who’s the person they’re cheering for after that while the rest of us probably went deaf.

And I enjoyed their on strikes, so falling down DOES take skills.

I went stalking almost everyone’s timetable too ~~ Still no sign of anyone in the same class as me for Italian ): – Probably because I can’t remember people’s names ! (You don’t know how many threats I have received because I forgot my friends’ names! :O)

Ahh.. jam packed canteens ONCE AGAIN! i miss it when we have empty canteens only to ourselves ~~ (because other schools was on holidays !)

We need to adapt to jostling with crowds on buses too ~~ I miss the other schools holidays instead of my own now -.- When they were on holidays, the buses were all almost empty most of the time!

Ok, a light hearted post for now ~~ D

I don’t care whether I am misunderstood or not anymore. It’s no use trying to clear it because it just gets worse at times.

Add comment April 21, 2009

Weird

Life\’s getting so weird lately.

It seems like everyone else seems to be leading my life except me O.O

Maybe it\’s all my fault.

Oh well, chuan dao qiao tao zhi ran zhi.

I . know. I . need. to. face. up. to. the.problems.soon. 

Problems are only problems if you see them as problems. 

The same goes with everything.

Things are simple. Yet complicated at the same time.

There’s 3 sides to everything.

Add comment April 16, 2009

Escaping.

Sometimes I think I must be the laziest person on Earth… sometimes I really can’t be bothered to do things, and have a really strong desire just to lie there, pretend the world doesn’t exist and go to sleep… and just keep sleeping.. and sleeping… no food, no water, just sleep.

Perhaps it’s just my hidden desire to run away from reality, not that I hate what’s happening to me but I hate what I am seeing all around me, what’s happening to others..

Sometimes, I have this really strong urge just to drop everything and get any job I can lay hand on and use all that I earn to buy some food for those that are starving, or give those money to those who desperately needs them so that they won’t want to commit suicide..

I wonder if it’s my selfishness that makes me not able to drop everything to help them whole heartedly or is it because of another belief of mine? The belief that this is all part of God’s perfect plan?

Yet then I tell myself it’s 100% man and 100% God.. if I meant to help, I should just go out and do it… cast everything aside and by that I meant family, friends and even church stuffs.. and go out to help them.. start off with any small little action to help them..

But with the limited strength I have, how much can I help?

So I’ll need to wait..

My heart aches with the sufferings I continue to see..

It hurts so much I am running away from reality all the time..

Closing my eyes to the cruel, harsh world …

And opening my eyes to a world with no hunger, no torture – be it physically, mentally or sexually,… etc. And a place where animals and humans and insects can co-exist happily.. very happily.. and as close to each other like two best buddies..

A place with tears …. but also with smiles..

Yes, I want it to have tears, sadness, anger and sorrows although without sufferings… it’s a weird place i want to be at..

I know fully well it’s impossible to remove ALL sufferings RIGHT NOW and I can’t stand the fact..

So I’m running away…

Call me a coward, but I’m running away.. running far far away..

from reality.

That’s why all forms of stories are such love. They’re all form of escapism …

Escaping from the real world, into a make-belief one.

The stress, it’s ongoing and I’m escaping from it.. in order to really live. 

Flying away, in my imagination.

[I wonder where did the optimist in me went? Probably buried by all my thoughts now, my heart and mind and action always fail to collide, or maybe it did but I missed it.]

Maybe it’s not that no one understands but it’s because I don’t know how to express myself the way they want me to. To the answer they expect.

Or maybe I am just plain selfish. The way I am.

If anyone is reading this, I want to tell you that I care, no matter who you are. You’re not alone in this world.

I understand.

1 comment March 31, 2009

Schoolwork’s out for next 3 weeks!

Ku Xiao Bu De – that’s my thoughts as I read my title. First week I will probably be feeling super shiok at the freedom off school stress after the build up of it over 2 months.. and then second week I will be missing school like mad -.-

Don’t ask me how I am gonna manage my feelings on the third week – probably building up excitement for school? LOLS.

But currently feeling SUPER SUPER shiok, although P1 presentation is not over but our work is all over and within a second, it’s like all those pent up stress that has accumulated over the extremely stressful 2 months or rather one month is suddenly released! From completely full to completely empty! So sudden, such a big contrast but that’s why it’s so shiok, hehes.

- I wonder why everyone is thinking of innovative ways to escape watching P1 presentation screenings – It’s my biggest motivation for coming to school today, LOLS ..  very very looking forward to watching it although I’ll probably be suffering from super hunger and super tiredness at the same time.

- Posting this in school as AniFund screening is finally over..

Hehes, have a whole load of programmes already chalked out for next week even though my holidays haven’t officially started, LOL.. I wanna post comments about BBF! hehes.. shall voice my opinions on each episode in detail soon xDD

Shall blog again later, cya ~ going off to do quizzes  on facebook .. hahas…

I seriously wonder how I am gonna survive without school for three weeks – I am getting too used to the school, argh, my workaholic nature just keeps coming out… or maybe cause school is really fun! hahas.

I misses the wacom pen ):

Add comment March 27, 2009

Wei Ru doesn’t like to express herself to people.

Add comment March 23, 2009

9 Mar 2009

Imagination – where the impossible comes alive.

Continue Reading Add comment March 10, 2009